


Not Your Love

by downforinfinity



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: A lot of Leather, AU, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Emma is LIVING, F/M, Female Friendship, Female Protagonist, Female-Centric, From Sex to Love, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Leather, New York, New York City, POV Female Character, Red is Right, alternative universe, tw alcohol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-16 12:25:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9271355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downforinfinity/pseuds/downforinfinity
Summary: Emma works as a PR administrator for Gold Corp. She's run down, needs a therapist and over worked. Leaving a meeting with her head on the line, she runs into the best thing she could, and she hates him.





	1. Dreams of a Pirate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My very own Red](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+very+own+Red).



_He lifted her just to watch her fall through the cracks of reality. She cried the last emotions held deep in her before floating away from pure happiness. Was he her angel or just a devil in disguise? Screaming, into the blackness she looked to him one last time to see he had disappeared. Who was he?_

Emma awoke crying. Nightmares lead from nightcaps, her mother used to say/ she wasn’t wrong. A bottle of whiskey sat on her bedside table staring at her, looking her down, mocking her. She wasn’t an alcoholic, but she tried to avoid waking to night terrors as often as possible. In doing so, she may have drunk just a tad too much. Every time.

3.00 AM. She swung her legs out of the bed; there was no way she was sleeping again. She stumbled to the bathroom, staring into the mirror she saw her eyes. Bloodshot. Beaten. Heavy and Hollow. She looked as though she were a walking corpse. Her cascading beautiful blonde hair looked straw like and greying. What was happening to her when she fell asleep? She’d have to see a doctor. Or a therapist.   
Sighing, she took to the shower, slinging the taps to steaming, hoping the sheer heat would bring her back from the numbness felt. The scorching waterfall gushed over her pale skin, bringing her blood forward. Rosy marks flushed her skin in reaction to the boil, soothing her from any thoughts of the hell she was in before. The running water spawned a sense of walking in the rain, sending her back to a childhood. The little red galoshes splashing in the puddles, dancing with her mother and father. The feel of a droplet hitting her neck and sending shivers down her spine, making her giggle and laugh with joy. The memories flooded back. Her mother using a towel to dry her, her father bringing hot cocoa and lounging by the fire with her.

She truly felt like a princess with her parents by her side.

Now who was she? A corporate sell-out, her friend Ruby would say. The proper title? Well not even she was sure of that. PR. Public Relations. Keeping secrets for the worst of the worst. And by the worst of the worst, I mean Gold Corp. A jewelers with a global monopoly on the mining of gold, silver and platinum. At the top of it all sat Mr. Gold, a despicable man with loathsome qualities, sleazy and with a moral code set somewhere in the 1700s. He despised anyone with a sense of morality, to get the job Emma had to lose all humanity when stepping into the glistening cathedral of sin and deceit.

3.30 AM. She trudged out of the shower, wrapping herself in a towel to once again look in the mirror. Her hair was no longer straw like, but resembled a mop soaked in water. Her blonde locks turned brown. Her eyes looked less worn, but no amount of makeup could cover the bags that lay under them. She considered returning to bed, but remembered the team meeting she was supposed to attend. Mr. Gold was heading the meeting, meaning redundancies were well on the way. She didn’t take a fancy to being one of the many let go. The dream still played on her mind, the mysterious man haunted her, his grasp on her went from suffocating to non-existent as he dropped her into the void. It troubled her, she thought for a moment. The gaze. She recognized it.

She shook herself back to reality, there was no way a fictional man in her dreams could shake her this much. She took back to getting dressed, pulling herself away from the melancholy face she was projecting in the mirror. The meeting. That was what she had to focus on. The meeting.

Black turned to blue in the misty morning smog spread over the glorious New York City. Stepping into the street she felt the frost bite her nose, the wind growl in her ears, the cold daggering her back. Not even the coat she wore could protect her from the winter blues. Outside of her building the cab waited, sat like a hearse, ready to escort her to her funeral. She slunk into the back, the driver a chirpy phantom with his life wistfully fleeting away before her eyes.   
“Where to?”   
“302 West 79th Street”  
  
She looked back at her flat one last time before the cab lumbered on to the slaughter house.

* * *

 

Emma held the phone away from her ear as shrieking ensured.   
“HE DID WHAT!?”  
“Fired around 220 personnel, I was one of the lucky few that survived the cut, but my head will be on the block next if one of them decides to go spreading corporate details.”  
“QUIT WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE” Ruby screeched on the other side, ensuring all of Manhattan heard their phone call.   
“I can’t, think of the prospects I can get for surviving a year Ruby, think of it! I could go anywhere!”  
“Yes, and sell your soul to the devil while you’re at it!”  
“But the opportunity, the MONEY!”  
“What about integrity? Morality?”  
“Ruby PLEASE! I need your support for ONCE”

Emma bit her tongue and smacked her head. It wasn’t often she would have a blow out like that at Ruby, especially not down the phone.

“Look. Emma, I get that your stressed but I hate to see you doing the devil’s work. Why couldn’t you just work where I do?”  
“At your grandmother’s diner?”  
“She’s five star! People love her cooking and we draw in a crowd every night.”  
“Yes, but I don’t want to be a waitress all my life Ruby, that’s something for college kids run down, living in the squalor of Dorms. I’m trying to make myself something Ruby.”  
“A sell-out who hides the worst of the worst from their true light”  
“I’m trying to help those people before they hit a team of lawyers that will really damage them, I’m the calm before the storm Ruby. I’m the sheriff. I am TRYING to do what’s best for the company and for those no longer with us…”  
“God listen to you Emma, they’re not dead but you sure as hell sound it!”

Stung by the comment, Emma held her composure. She couldn’t make a scene in central park, it would definitely get back to Mr. Gold. Everything she did would get back to Mr. Gold. She had to be a walking purity ambassador, with no taints on her record, which was all very well, but her secrets had to remain hers meaning there was something that could get back to the press, or worse. Mr. Gold. He not only had a monopoly on jewellery but also on her life, as though she were a puppet. It was easier to imagine herself as the sheriff, taking on cases of particularly rowdy injustice and calming the situation before it hit a vital stand point.

“I know. Ruby. I know. But I have to do this. Two more months, two more months of this shit. Then I’m done, I can get my reference, I can be the woman who survived a year at Gold Corp. Think of it.”  
“I’m proud of you Emma, you know I am, I just don’t want to see you crash and burn. You used to come backpacking with me across Asia, helping the orphans in Cambodia. Bangladesh. Mongolia! You remember that don’t you? I don’t want you to lose sight of that Emma.”  
“I’m still her, just with a bit more money, and a chance to make an impression on the world.”  
“Don’t let it go to your head. Please.”  
“When would I ever.”

She laughed. Hanging up she looked up to the sky, the icy white clouds hung over a beautiful light shining down on her. Stepping back to admire the beauty of the deathly sky, she tripped.  



	2. Boys and Broken Things

Falling, she landed on someone. Bashful and blushing she stood up, readjusted herself, and went to lend a hand to the gentleman she just toppled over, she looked her up and down. A rough man, in leather, and eyeliner? She couldn’t tell if the dark circles were on purpose or matching her own heavy bags. Still she put out her hand with every intention on apologising until…

“Lass, I appreciate you falling for me and all, but could you make it a little less literal next time?”  
“I’m sorry?”  
“You’re forgiven.”  
“No, you’re flirting with me?”  
“Calm down love, it was a joke.”  
“It’s Emma. Not love, not lass. Emma.”  
“Okay Emma love, no need to get touchy. Need I remind you, you fell into me?”  
“I apologise Mr…”  
“Killian.”  
“I apologise Killian, however from the looks of it there is no harm done. So if you wouldn’t mind, I shall be on my way.”  
“What? And leave without my number?”  
“You’re a rather forward man, aren’t you?”  
“Love…”  
“Emma.”  
“Emma love, if I weren’t a forward man, I would not be here today. I’m an Irish man in New York after all.”

She looked him up and down again. Tall brunette, with earrings. Eyeliner. Leather clothing.

“Oh my dear lord, you’re not some sort of punk singer are you?”

She couldn’t quite contain herself. Laughing, she looked him in the eye and said:

“Killian, if you really think you could get my number dressed like a goth pirate about to go to a rock concert with Molly and Mandy pumping through your veins, you’ve got another thing coming.”  
“I find that my look rather blesses with me with the ladies attention love, but as you think you’re better than everyone else, I’m sure my company would be more appreciated elsewhere.”

“Ok, ‘love’” She giggled, “Sorry for the fall again.”

He walked away, strolling nonchalantly with his hands in the pockets of his long leather coat. In some way, he reminded her of something. Something. She couldn’t get it off her mind. Staring at him walk away, she sighed. Calling Ruby back to discuss the rather odd encounter would only spark more arguments, so she chose to woefully trudge back to the office for afternoon meetings. She had to get the recently departed… not departed, redundant, to sign confidentiality agreements agreeing to keep all they have learnt in Gold Corp under lock and key, without breathing it to a single soul.

 

* * *

 

The meetings went as expected. Swearing. Crying. Pleading. All she could do was smile and hand them the form, reminding them of the legal team behind Gold and how it would be a waste to fight back. It was unfair and she knew it, each and every person who walked in broke her heart and took a piece of it with them. Ruby wasn’t wrong when she called the company a soul-sipping hellhole with no way out over than slitting your throat. Gruesome, but true. Emma looked at her desk clock, 4.00 PM. She’d be allowed to leave as soon as the last walked through the door. She kept her composure and waited for the next victim of Gold’s to walk through and tell their sob story.

* * *

 

“I’m an intern, I didn’t even know I could be made redundant.”  
“You are just being let go.”  
“I make coffee, I don’t get paid, how is this grounds to ‘let me go’ as you so aptly put it?”  
“For good reasons.”  
“But that makes no sense, I’m unpaid, there is no reason to get rid of me.”  
“There is perfectly apt reasons for your case, none that I can legally disclose in full detail without having my own job on the line.”  
“Miss. Swan I cannot begin to understand the ridiculousness of this company, but from woman to woman I thought I could have at least a reason behind this ridiculous day I’m living.”  
“Look Ms…. Gale. I cannot begin to describe to you the day I’ve had, despite the fact you’ve been released from this hell, I still get the grunt of it. You will have your reference and the company will ensure any future employers that it was not of your own accord that your position was terminated, but the fact is security is becoming tighter due to a new project Mr. Gold wishes to unleash. Projects come with secrets. Anyone not trusted is let go, now will you PLEASE sign this piece of paper so you don’t have the legal team rain all hell fire on your ass.”

The girl sat down in a huff, she’d been screaming at Emma for a while and deciding it was not the answer began to hold her tongue. Emma knew the face, it’s the very same face Ruby pulled whenever her grandmother told her not to do something. Emma didn’t like that face. The pout. It meant she might do something stupid, and at risk of her losing her job, Emma looked her dead in the eye.

“Look, I know it’s hard to accept, but whatever you’re thinking about doing don’t do it. Just don’t. It’s not worth the trouble, trust me of all people I know.”  
“I wasn’t going to do anything…”  
“Lie.”  
“What?”  
“That’s a lie.”  
“What are you, some sort of lie detector?”  
“Quite possibly. Now, will you sign these papers so we can both go home? I will set you up with another company in Manhattan, you’ll get your work experience and we can all live happily ever after.”

She stared at the papers. The girl stared at the papers. She stared at the papers. The girl stared at the papers.

“Ms. Gale?”  
“Yes. I know, I’ll sign the goddamn papers.”

She picked up the pen and scribbled on them, harshly tattooing each of the letters of her signature into the raw pages, almost as though she was tearing into them. She looked at Emma. With a single tear in her eye, she flicked the pen across the desk.

“You seem heartless. I hope you’re not, but it seems so. I hope they don’t kick you to the curb too.” She walked out, still with pride in her step.

Emma hurt.

_Heartless_?

Was that who _she was_ now?

She walked out of her office not long after, breathing deeply. The room was almost spinning above her head. She felt confined in this hellish space, she had her own office but it felt like a cubicle, everything enclosed, so impersonal, so dreary. She saw nothing but grey, the dancing thoughts in her head wavering around that one word. Heartless. She needed to get out, she needed to breathe. She trudged herself to the elevator, careful to not look anyone in the eye. Breathing, slowly and carefully, almost afraid to take in breathes she held her eyes tightly shut and stepped into the metal cage. Empty. Thank God. She peered once into the office and her heart raced a mile a minute, almost leaving her chest to run a marathon. It hurt, how hard her heart was pounding, the feeling of an anvil on her chest. The blender in her stomach, turning and turning and turning, making her sink to the floor of the elevator as it fell into the abyss. She was sent cascading back into her dream, falling and falling, no one there to catch her. She lost it, falling into a black out.

* * *

 

“Oh my God, she’s ok everybody, she’s ok!” Emma heard a familiar voice yelp through the sea of people surrounding her. It was none other than Dorothy Gale, the girl she had fired (theoretically) not long before. “Ms. Swan, can you hear me?”  
“I’m fine, I need a glass of water though.”  
She had been dragged out of the elevator by a concerned citizen stupidly, when Dorothy had seen them and scolded them for careless acts. She thanked them for their hazed effort and sat with Emma for the paramedics. Woe and behold, Emma awoke around five minutes later this way.

“The paramedics are on their way.”  
“There’s no need honestly.”  
“Ms. Swan with all due respect, healthy people don’t just faint in an elevator.”  
“It’s honestly fine, it’s not a physical health attribute, I can insist on that.”  
“Please, just wait for the paramedics.”

Emma stood, still feeling hazy. “I just want to go home.” She said, pleading with her through her eyes.

“I’m sorry but I can’t let you.”

She held her standing position for as long as she could before the weariness took over, and she sat again. She knew what it was, she was fine. It wasn’t anything serious. Just proved to her one thing – she needed a therapist. They waited for the paramedics, and when they finally did arrive it was nothing serious, a quick check over, a hospital appointment, medical history background, a clear dictation on taking on too much work… She was out as soon as she could be. There was seventeen missed calls from Ruby once she checked her phone, and about fifty messages, all asking where she was and if she was ok.

“I hope you don’t mind…” Dorothy spoke, looking guilty as anything “I called your ICE contact, I’m guessing that’s her?”  
“Uh… yes. She’s my in case of emergency contact, who happens to be an irrational worrier.”  
“Ok. Well, she is on her way to the office now, she said something about Granny’s? You staying there?”  
“Oh, ok. No that’s fine. Thank you.”

Emma looked vacantly into the now empty office building. All the empty tables and chairs, the reminder of what this place was. A shell with no heart. She did hate it, and Ruby wasn’t wrong it tore the life out of her. Almost literally.

But she wasn’t ready to leave.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, as this is in the works I'd appreciate a Beta Reader, contact me if you're interested.   
> Gold Corp is in no way meant to represent or be affiliated with De Beers Diamond Corporation...  
> I went on Google street view to find a suitable place to set the scene, if you want to be immersed have a look where she's meant to work.


End file.
